All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
