at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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