well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
