It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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