im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize