im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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