I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
