Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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