MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
