Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
