Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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