If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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