remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
