just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
