id be glad to
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
