Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Say something about gay babies.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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