I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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