My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
