Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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