dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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