is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
