but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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