i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
