no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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