Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
