Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
