I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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