i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
