did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
