plz talk dirty to me
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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