its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
