I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
