I bet he comes in French.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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