I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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