are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
