You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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