He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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