help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
