what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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