the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
