I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
