I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
so much tequila, so little girl.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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