Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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