If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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