Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
