he thought i was a dude.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
