just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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