My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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