i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
