please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
