haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
